Naff Naff Queen Queen. Now About That Christmas Special...

You Who?

2007-08-28T05:22:00.000-07:00

Ok then, let's do it shall we?

Reading your wonderful response makes me wonder what's keeping that book of yours...after all, you could be the new Paul Burston....(tee hee).

The email is iamacompletewhore@yahoo.co.uk.

Let's have some fun.

(Oh and by the way, this picture has made us laugh so much, you brought joy to an old whore's Megan-esque mouth)

Konichiwa Bitches.

2007-08-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well, what a fuss eh? I feel it important to warn you that most of what we posted here is not particularly funny, just a long-ass goodbye from us to you.

This has been a fun few months, but yes, it is time to draw it to a close. This isn't the sort of thing that can exist forever. We'd get stale, or beaten up somehow, or you'd get bored. We can honestly say that we never intended to have so many people reading our work, we simply wanted to say out loud what we'd been thinking for a while. Some people are shit, some are good, and some people look really funny.

What started off as a joke has become something more serious for some. If all the Craig rumours are true (that he's coming to get us, break our legs blah blah) then that's an even more sad state of affairs than we thought. I doubt that he has any time to worry about us though, if he does, i would imagine that would be his undoing anyway.

We have had a limited amount of contact with the outside world - we emailed Fiction when they were relaunching to say we wanted to offer a few guest list places on the site, they politely declined. What was incredible was the grace with which they let us down. Clearly the boys of Blue Cube have a sense of humour. There's a reason some people manage to stay at the top of their game for some 12/13 years, and i should imagine being able to laugh things off being a part of it. He may be over-loyal to a few oldtimer djs, but Lee Freeman's still one of the best there is.

We never intended to make Chris Jepson's life more difficult, and this has been a big part of our decision to go. He is a lovely guy (don't bother telling us he isn't), a real diamond with a massive knob! He never said he agreed with anything we did or said, so it wasn't fair that he got punished for our antics. Chris we're sorry you got caught up in it all, that makes you the only one to have gotten an apology from Complete Whore. Feel free to print it on a t-shirt!

We would also like to say hello and thank you to the readers, Edna (you've become a fucking legend!), Scarlett O'Mattress, Cuntelina, Brenda O'Nassis, and last but by no means least The Swarmite. You don't know this but we've met before and you are truly wonderful. I imagine you've prevented a lot of suicides, and been tempted to cause a few too! KDA's T-Shirt was the best reaction from anyone to our site, clearly you won't be taken down by anyone. If we were to start a night, you would be playing.

Oh and Troy's looking for djs it would seem, so send in your demos to one of his bars (yes that WAS cheeky you overbotoxedexhookerbarowningcuntface! However we've been stealing drinks from your bars for years so i guess we owed you.

And so.

For the very last time.

Megan, faced with her house burning down, grabbed one thing before she fled.

And the dick was Adrian's at Discotec (no not the one above!). She'll forever be known as the Burning Bush! Adrian, if there IS a Xmas special, you'll be the first to know.

You boys have a week to play, then this will all be deleted. Because we're nice, and becuase we are massive whores!

Tony We Love You.

2007-08-21T14:10:00.000-07:00

You did the most incredible thing any gay scene dj has ever done. If you ever doubted you were a legend.... All my love, Complete Whore.

We Love The Powder Puff Girls!

2007-08-21T14:04:00.001-07:00

They fucking ROCKED Soho Pride! They are wicked, and should have their own residency somewhere, make these bitches work!

The rest of the day was cool too, Soho really is the best Pride event these days. The Soho House event was funny, the Fiction room being manic though the room with the free drinks in ('Tidal' i think) was well rubbish! Not sure what that Tidal night is all about, it looks rubbish to me, sounds like the fucking radio!

The main stage was cool, didn't really get any gossip, you get any?

Oh actually, we did hear that Craig has finally realised that perhaps he DOESN'T have the best djs in town. Do you think he knows that allegedly there's a chance his medic isn't particularly qualified to look after people in the club? Collapsing on G at DT's has never been the best way to start your shift.

That place goes from bloody strength to strength.

Whatta Man Whatta Man Whatta Man, Whatta Mighty Good Man!

2007-08-21T12:46:00.000-07:00

Oh. My God.

Babes, you have excelled yourself.

As we understand it, Miss Bore-lard went into DTPM this Sunday and threatened Lee Lee, a member of the Blue Cube team for a thousand years, because he suspected that he was NNQQ.

Justin may now have realised this was neither the time nor the place to throw his fists around. The drama that has kicked off since then has been unimaginable.

Justin, you are as talented as you are young. You are nothing but a thug, and if you think the gay scene will forgive your total ignorance, you are mistaken. And by all accounts it's not the first time we've heard about you and your fists, and certainly not the first time we've heard about you being homophobic. You're not too fond of being called a poof eh? Homophobic behavior should and will not be tolerated in this day and age. Was this seriously the best way you could think of dealing with what we've said about you?

Now we're not psychic or nothin, but here's a vision we've had of you in the coming weeks sweetcheeks:

He should be sacked immediately, fair and square. If he isn't, there had better be the most incredible reason, and a public statement. But frankly, does he have a fan base on the gay scene? Are there fans of his out there? I'd be quite happy to accept it if there were, but if they comment on here, they had better leave a full name and email address. A whole bunch of anonymous comments isn't gonna cut it.

Apparantly both Lisa German and Guy Williams have also taken it badly, bitching and moaning about how they shouldn't have to be criticised like this. Let's address that.

Here's where you should be:

Only joking hee hee!

But you are only djs.

The fact that you are unable to laugh at yourselves is astounding. Clearly your egos are bigger than that collection of tunes you've been rinsing forever and a day. It's not, i repeat not, the hardest job in the world and you are extremely lucky to get paid for what you supposedly love - most people do not have such a luxury. It would also appear that you no longer love this activity, if you did, why would so many people believe you've been taking the piss out of Lee Freeman for years? What else would you call turning up week in week out, playing the same ridiculous out of date records? Is that giving it your all?

No wonder you're upset, QX or Boyz would never write such things. There are so many djs these days, everybody's a dj! There are so many opportunities for fresh talent to emerge, it's a genuine shame that devious cunts like Justin do everything within their power to halt that talent coming through (and don't pretend you don't babes, you're a fraidy old lady when it comes to other djs, we wouldn't surprised if you practised voodoo!).

Oh and Lisa, we've a few stories recently about you being very territorial about room1 in Fabric. You wanna sort that shit out love. My advice is to think about what you do. If you genuinely believe that you work as hard as possible and give your sets your all, then nothing i write matters does it? You would know that it's bollocks and you would carry on working hard. Take it all with a pinch of salt, this blog may seem big right now, but it'll be gone soon and you can go back to doing what you do best.

Which is comedy right?

Bye Bye To Posh.

2007-08-21T12:36:00.001-07:00

We've loved you and your obsession with clothes with writing on. You are the queen of accessories! We had no idea people would be so opinionated about you! Seems we picked up on something eh? It's a shame you couldn't comment back (as far as we know), we tend to judge people even harsher when they don't have the courage to answer back. That's probably why people went for you so harshly.

And you seem so fond of writing too! Anyway, stay well and fit and we can't wait to see what you look like in ten years.

You'll be rulin babes.

Megan, Having Read That We're Finishing.

2007-08-21T12:25:00.001-07:00

Ah, we actually love ya honey.

Oops, that girl is reachin! She's thinking "Yay, there is a God! NNQQ is no more!". We saw she made an appearance at Soho Pride, not the same one she made last year (that was a blast eh babe! She had the square closed down and a courtesy car and everything!). As this is our last posting we're gonna tell you one more time. Your friends are concerned, therefore they aren't ones encouraging you to do drugs. EVERYBODY thinks you're a sweet girl who has unfortunately lost her way. I know we've taken the piss but you have to admit it's been funny.

And it's nice that you lent Per one of your t-shirts.

It Seems The Promoters Are Simply Not Gonna Listen To You.

2007-08-21T11:34:00.001-07:00

It's funny that everybody seems to have seen this blog except the club promoters. They maintain what they believe to be a dignified silence, turning their noses up at what they see as the work of some silly, bitchy queen coked off her face.

Which is not true, i'm simply a whore.

Good old Heaven, they can't ever get it right can they? Here they are, rinsing an ad from over ten years ago, but not telling you that.

Guys that look like that don't go there, it's made up of nineties hangers on, manky old dealers and fugly queens. Damn it even David Inches has left the place, and nobody thought that would happen. Ibiza hasn't worked out, because they had no idea about programming. To compete with the best clubs in the world, you have to be one. Right now they're not even competing with G.A.Y.

And so to Colosseum, more of the same anyone?

Jim Stanton used to be so beautiful, and we do get that him and Severino are cool (with a music collection you could just bathe in), but is it not just a little tedious to be on the same line up all the time? We even have a little thing for Ben Jamin, but boys this is getting tired.

And so to Soho Revue Bar....

Is there no imagination left in Soho? I can't believe that Jodie Harsh has anything to do with this. I wouldn't put my name anywhere NEAR Tasty Tims. Your the most happening drag queen this town has seen in ages, and your next to Tasty Tim. Erm, who's booking this shit?

That hideous mess Walt that's who. We've heard more than one story about him molesting staff members (which of course is just gossip and shouldn't be taken seriously in any way, fnar fnar), if he's not careful he'll end up like the old owner of Comptons (we're talking years ago ducks). He only books the events in for that all controlling company Soho Clubs & Bars, but tells everyone she runs the place still.

Of course she does, she loves anywhere with a kitchen. Have you seen her hair? She looks like a nailbrush, with all the Austrian charm of a flesh-eating virus. A friend of ours was really, really picked on by him. Can you imagine? Must be like being bullied by Pattiserie Valerie. I'd like to recommend a course of Slim Fast to that huge sow by getting a can and whacking her head in with it, until my 80th birthday.

And so to Fire.....

THIS IS HOW STUPID THEY THINK YOU ARE.

They ain't even gonna try and pretend to have something new to offer, it's just gonna be the same thing 2 days in a row. And what a product it is. We actually like Stevie B, the other 2 and a half are as interesting as a clock ticking.

However, what clubs look good? Well i think XXL looks cool, don't you? Mark Ames is trying really hard to do something a little different and i think it's working.

I love that he's taken inspiration from a video like 'Wild Boys'. Who didn't love that video? He doesn't mention who he's got playing, but it looks like a good night we reckon. And of course there's the only legendary club in operation right now.....

DTPM.

Featuring several djs we love (Pagano, Malcolm Duffy, Steve Thomas, Kris Di Angelis) and unfortunately some we can't stand (you know who you are by now), this at least has the pedigree of being the night when absolutely everyone seems to be at DT. It's the last Bank Holiday of the year and it's mental. I've heard the whole of Fabric is being turned into an airport and that they've gone all out for it this year, and fucking good luck to them. That company put their heart and soul into their 2 clubs, and i don't give a fuck who leaves a comment bitching me off for saying that.

They Airbrush Every Single Picture.....

2007-08-21T11:27:00.001-07:00

....But leave you out?

Good thing you've got Seen Queen then hey hon? Man, it looks like someone drew directions on your face, whatever the destination was at least we know it was down, way down babes.

How fucking dare you try to put one over your own community by setting up a website designed to be useful to all gay men, only to then sabotage it and publicise your own meager dates. You couldn't be more lame, even if there were two of you. Thank God Wayne can't be arsed to book any new talent eh? It must be great to be so successful that you don't need to know what's going on anymore.

I wonder where they'll all be in ten years, actually, no i don't.

At Least We Know Where Their Hair Went.

2007-08-21T11:19:00.001-07:00

Him on the right (Per QX - I still think that is one of the most retarded dj names, like Halo-Is or Hugo's land, did they get their names from Scrabble?) is supposed to actually be quite a good dj, making a lot of his own productions for his sets which sounds cool.

I haven't heard a single word about she on the left.

When people haven't a single thing to say about you or you're music, it can't be a good thing can it? At least people KNOW they hate Brent Nicholls or Fatty Borelard.

Ha ha ha, he is fat isn't he! Fatty Borelard's coming to get you folks! Just as soon as she's finished her crumpets...and a glazed ham.

Part 2 Coming Tomorrow...

2007-08-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

What you have below is Part 1.5 of our 2 parter. This is because part 2 is our last and final post. We will be hanging up our quill and parchments, and going back to anonymity. This is not like before where we threatened it and came back (God i sound like James Brown), it really will be for good.

This is a planned out thing and will be explained better tomorrow, so till then enjoy.

Love, Light & Cancer,

Complete Whore (almost no more).

Part 1.5

2007-08-16T09:25:00.000-07:00

Ok peeps, here's the big one.

It seems a revolution is starting. The many people reading and commenting on this blog seem to be saying the same thing: They want a club scene they can enthuse about. Is it so hard? In a world where queens have decided to stay in more and more, hooking up on Gaydar or whatever, we have let ourselves down. The bitches are tired of shit clubs, featuring the same djs, playing the same tired tunes and shit hole venues.

Nothing new there really, there was plenty to bitch about ten years ago too. But then there were legendary clubs happening then that countered the rest of the scene. Trade has since closed, DT lost it's way slightly, but all is not lost. Horse Meat Disco is a cool and original little concept (though sweatin' with the oldies was never my bag but anyways), XXL is a big-ass force these days and Fiction has come back fresher than ever. To me these are the freshest things happening on the gay club scene. Discotec seems insistent on limping towards it's demise (how did that become such an average party?), Fire is, well we all know what that place is, and Area is a perfect example of what little someone is prepared to offer you (you are overshadowed by a bar a few doors down? Erm, i would be soooo embarrassed babes).

So, what to do about this? Well, how's about we strike one back at the promoters then eh?

Ok then, tell me, which club promoter is this?:

Answers on the poll at the top right please. We'll reveal all after Soho Pride.

Can you imagine if we never revealed who it was?

The Most Fabulous Costumes I've Seen In Ages!

2007-08-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hey Jeromy, this wig would suit you in your new home, Heaven.....

We Used To Call This One 'Peaches'!

2007-08-16T08:27:00.001-07:00

Does anybody remember her in the off-white shirt? I've no idea what her nickname was but we named her Peaches. She used to trollop around town voguing (or fitting) as she went, in G.A.Y or Heaven (we're talking '90's here). She was without question one of the vilest mini queens that ever was, but she had a certain character (yeah, her mother, who she brought out to Soho once and screamed "my mum knows i like gettin' facked ap the arse init!" outside the Old Compton Cafe - now that's showing my age).

She was so funny. She had so much confidence, which was odd for someone that looked a lot the kids that had to write with 'special' tools in school. She would holler, scream, demand to know why people were looking at her. I once explained this was because people were trying to work out which way up she was, and that her face and voice were the quickest way to incite violence in others, but alas, this too fell on deaf mouse-like ears.

Looking at this picture, if you didn't know her you'd just think they were a couple of Quakers. It's not that Peaches just has Downs babes, it's as if she's it's mother.

Where is she now though?

Megan, Queeeeeeeen of Cocks. The Cock Queen If You Will.

2007-08-16T08:24:00.001-07:00

All that free K can catch up with a girl. At least this picture is proves it was security selling it.

actually that's completely not true and don't go thinking for a second that it is just cos we wrote we dont even know how to write pproperly anyway my mum made fish fingers for my tea and i told her to stuff em up her cos shes a cunt fire security have never sold drugs to anyone it was just a joke bum will toilet.

Not Always Seen Queen.

2007-08-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Who'd of thunk then eh? A gay scene blog being edited to protect the vanity or business interests of the owner and frankly, one of few viewers. Us you say? Why no! Not i guvnor!

Why it be something called 'Seen Queen' (catchy, oh, did you think we were seriously gonna link to it?), a website i had never heard of till they began commenting about themselves on this here blog. It's not a completely shit site, otherwise there'd be something to be bitch, it's just fucking dull. And of no use whatsoever.

We've had a lot of interest in the short time we've been going, various people trying to plug whatever nonsense they sell, and we've let them all have a go. Why not? But you guys? You are lame babes. You are so-lo babes.

To think a little comment i left there yesterday, containing neither profanity nor controversy, was taken off from public view (mind you that only means 3 people didn't get to read it)! How fortunate then really, that i kept a copy of it.

There is a back story: Somebody had left a comment on there explaining the reasons they didn't trust the website and then said that they'd better include something positive (tee hee) about Brent Nicholls as a dj or else he thought his comment wouldn't show (for our international readers, Brent is a 'DJ' and the guy that runs said site). The writer the proceeded to write a paragraph of what was obviously drivel, praising him etc. The funny thing is that even though it was overall a negative comment about the site, it made it on. Then, other people started to leave comments of a similar nature, and copying and pasting the same drivel text so as to ensure the same treatment. It worked.

So then, did we:

13 August 2007 16:34

COMPLETE WHORE
"i was out at area/crash/hardon and i have to say that brett nichols (or is it brent?) played the most amazing set of funky house. it was really cool. he's alwats such a good dj. he's the best dj. so talented. yeah he's amazing!
we never read a bad word about his djing or website.. we love all of them"

Hee hee hee!....oh and stop trying to force that silly Dirty Disco on them babe. It is essentially an old Crash press release. There's nothin' new over in them there walls. Oh and don't forget the drapery.

Now why on earth would that comment be taken down? Could it be, that Brent happens to be playing there?

Why lookey here then eh? That my friends, is a queen in trouble. We've let any number of critical comments exist on our pages. Who are you when you can't take a little criticism?

Thank God 'promoters' like Wayne can't be bothered to offer anything new eh? Where would you go? What would you do? Oh yes that right you've got that website haven't you , how's that going then....

Oops.

If you've got any sense at all, you'll issue an out and out apology for your ridiculous behaviour.

Part. 1.

2007-08-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

Here's part 1 of what will be a 2 part post......

The biggie is coming later on.....yes we're making you wait.....it's that big (tee hee).....

Just Us Lads Then.

2007-08-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

But what they do have is rhythm right? Racist bastards you are. Loving everything about she on the far right, you don't often see them on their hind legs. In a shellsuit and comedy teeth, she blatantly won some kind of competition to be there. The rest were the losers.

Kee keke ke ke keeee keee.

Babes....

2007-08-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

You should be killed.

Personals Ad.

2007-08-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

"I like long romantic walks, discovering historical landmarks, studying the works of Karl Marx, and K. Lots and lots of K. Till i'm being nursed in a chair with pink fucking neon wheels on it K! Woohooooo!"

Probably.

They Got Fierce E's Down Crash Y'Nar!

2007-08-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

Nothing About This Picture Is OK.

2007-08-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

Not the tiny members, nor the tiny boys, nor the return of Pixie Boy (well you did ask for more - she's the one pulling that shtuppid expression on her face with her hobbit hand exposed like some dead bird on her 'chest'), and certainly not our beloved Jeromy stuck in the middle of it all. God help you JJ if there's ever one of those pesky lawsuits....your looks will carry you through i'm sure babes.

Lisa German. Get Her While She's Hot!

2007-08-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

Look at her, holding her hand on her cap, like some dyke, saluting to her fellow dykes, and their rights, on bikes. We made a joke about Adrian from Discotec booking her cos she plays at DTPM a little while ago, but we realise that was incorrect as she's a woman, and he doesn't employ women djs. We would say this was because the women are prettier than him, but Lisa and he look like the same person. Ha ha, Adrian is also a dyke!

When did Lisa become such good friends with Justin Bore-lard? Was it in '98? I ask this, as it would seem that to commemorate that fatal year, she continuously plays the music from that year. I'm not joking, the last time she played dt i saw someone on the dancefloor, reading a book.

It was 'Fly-fishing' by JR. Hartley.

Hey Lisa, at least being written about on here means you're still relevent huh?

Erm, no babes. Just ask Justin.

Incidentally, we've heard that due to his burgeoning duo act with Justin, Guy Williams is selling off his records on Ebay.

Well she hardly needs them now does she!

Here's the link:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/GUY-WILLIAMS-WORK-DTPM-PROMO-12_W0QQitemZ290148981741QQihZ019QQcategoryZ58642QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem

Oh, and in case you've forgotten what he looks like, here's a reminder.

Justinn Borelard:

Yeah, and here's Justin Granola's whole family init:

Y'Know, 'GBH' Would Be A Clever Name For A Night....

2007-08-15T05:37:00.000-07:00

.....If your djs (which you so bravely advertise) didn't look how i imagine the Fine Young Cannibals to look now.

Ironically (and it MUST be ironically), the one on the bottom right calls himself 'Josh The Barber'. Well i suppose they shave your face too right? He might wanna be introduced to his friend on the left! Do remember that show in the '80's with that puppet 'ALF'?

I ain't sayin' nuttin'.

Yes i am, he looks like ALF. There i said it.

Does Anyone Remember EJ Doubell?

2007-08-15T05:34:00.000-07:00

Thought not. Heeeeee!

Yeah, Rio Beach Are Looking For Staff....

2007-08-15T05:19:00.000-07:00

....To help deal with shifting their ridiculous clothes to the tacky queens that wear them. Where do they buy these stupid clothes? They also own that whore-store from years ago 'Santos & Mowen' that wasn't in anyway set up by an ex-hooker and his sugar papi like people kept saying. I always thought that was just cruel conjecture from really bitter jealous queens who couldn't handle their massive success.

So onto the clothes:

These items include cowboy boots, rabbit-foot belts, jeans with tassles on them, and really fierce D Squared shirts that allow you to confidently and defiantly shout "I am whore and i lurves me g!" from the top of the stairs of 'Salvation' at Cafe De Paris. Oh no they were thrown out sorry, from the Renaissance Rooms. Oh no sorry, the Bloomsbury Ballroom. Nope, wrong again, The New Connaught Rooms. Oh no, wrong again! Sorry people, i meant the freezer cupboard of St. Thomas' Hospital.

That place is so cool. They employ Look Hopeless. Well, equal opportunities and all that.

If Dusty & Tasty Had A Child....

2007-08-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

It's a more refined and coherent look than either of them i'll grant you. I love that what The Divine David uses as a comedy act, those two sillies are using to live the dj dream. How's that dream going ladies?

Get shagged much?

I love a queen with no eyebrows.

No that's mean, i actually respect Dusty a lot, at least she works. Mind you, i bet she ends up with 'Cheap Drinks!' written on her tombstone.

AND JUST FOR THE RECORD....

2007-08-15T05:06:00.000-07:00

ABSOLUTE. FUCKING. LEGEND.

Everybody go and see his shows, he's a fucking genius. Do not let this man disappear again.

He is and always will be The Divine David, and he's @ The RVT on Mondays.

You Look Fierce Babes.

2007-08-15T04:20:00.001-07:00

And not like a coupla total cunts at all. Who's their agency? I CAN Believe It's Not A Model, Modelling Agency? There is that agency 'Ugly' (i kid you not), but their people have character.

Night & Day

2007-08-15T04:06:00.001-07:00

A look for your happy threesome for day...

....And night....

...And day...

" Day and night, night and day
Under the hide of me
There's an oh such a hungry yearning burning inside of me
And this torment won't be through
Until you let me spend my life making love to you
Day and night, night and day" - Cole Porter, written whilst looking at Chris Jepson's site.

AND WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS GIVING HIM SHIT?

If by some weird unfortunate childhood you're fucked enough to have a problem with him, get help, from Megan. He's genuinely one of the most wonderful guys in London and does his job and the job of others brilliantly. He neither drinks nor takes drugs when he's working, so leave him the fuck alone. I don't wanna see anymore comments slaggin' him off, otherwise i'm gonna box you in your claat one time!

Craig Finally Turns His Back On The Gay Scene.

2007-08-15T03:40:00.000-07:00

And the clouds parted, the heavens opened and the angels sang.

So is it true that he sacked Stevie B by sockin' him one in the chops? Is that how he plans to sack Paul Martin and the Oli then too, which is what we also hear is happening. (I hear a rush of djs sending their cds to Fire, oh wait, they've detoured to the Citizen's Advice Bureau, ah well, Fire's out then).

Oli's a terrible warm up dj apparently. I'm amazed his wretchedness can be catergorised to a time slot. We were in Fire the other week trying to kill ourselves and we noticed that when Megan talks to him (they used to go out) she looks directly at him and is always smiling.

He on the other hand is generally eating and doesn't look at her once. One might go as far as to say he looks like a cunt that's been left in the fridge for too long, and perhaps might suit the freezer better. He should at least know to look into a lady's eye when talking to her (and not the nearest end of your hotdog you wobblin' homage to renal failure).

Mind you, when that lady is currently to be found performing a unique version of the butterfly crawl in Ibiza in an entire swimming pool of G, convincing everyone around her that she's trying to kill herself, it must be a little tricky maintaing a steady eye line dear.

So i hear.

Lady, put the drugs down. We hear your friends are very concerned, we're not gonna tell you again.

Sorry For The Lack Of Updates.....

2007-08-14T03:53:00.000-07:00

....With one thing and another there hasn't been enough time, oh and the mother of all come downs. However, we've been sent something that has had us literally weeing ourselves for days so please be patient. We'll be delivering something big we promise....

Oh yeah and Craig....

....Is after us....

...better just sit and wait for him then.

Femi B

2007-08-10T03:29:00.000-07:00

Just been sent this, Femi finds his vocation, and a more reliable way to pay the rent.

Here she sings about her comedy partner, everyone's favorite Cyclops, Luke Hopeless, with whom she has formed the astoundingly average 'Fierce Funk Lovers'. Together they 'play' their hits of the nineties to literally tens of people, down at dtDiscotecpm. Incidentally , was there last night. Even Adrian was bored. Rolling out the old Guy Williams/Justin Ballard combo that proves so effective for DT, oh wait, it doesn't. Lisa German, Adrian on line one? Nick Tchsfhskjhf anyone? No?

By the way, why is Femi always broke and on the rinse? Has she ever bought anyone a drink?

Anyone?

Ok, I'll Reveal Who I Am.

2007-08-09T12:41:00.001-07:00

I'm the one with my top off and the white Nike trainers on.

Can you see me? I'm holding a fan. Oh well. Wasn't Brighton Pride fun? Sorry for the delay in posting, i stayed down there for what felt like eternity. My party didn't stop till yesterday. Every year it seems to be the best one in the country, London take note.

Quick Question:

2007-08-09T12:40:00.001-07:00

Boy or girl?

Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves.

2007-08-09T12:30:00.001-07:00

Remember God is a DJ. She's on the right. Well, anyone that big ought to have someone praying to it.

Real easy way to tell lesbians in a crowd - they never show their hair. I wonder why that is? Strange that they should stop there. Muslim women cover the face as well, a leaf from a book these girls may want to happen across.

I do wonder sometimes where lesbians get their inspiration from. McFly? Orvil?

The odd thing is that these guys look more like Westlife. Not early Westlife, the Westlife of now. Y'know, married, settled down, with beards and about to give birth to sextuplets.

We Know Where The Party's At Bitches.

2007-08-09T12:27:00.001-07:00

When Fags & Lesbians mix, the best things about the both of them are taken away, so that they may mingle among other muffs and mo's.

Clearly everyone in this picture should be hung.

She's Got Mad Skills.

2007-08-09T12:24:00.001-07:00

Being a lesbian looks so cool.

Especially when you look at her man hands. She's about a million, she looks like Lana the coke dealer.

That Lana is well crusty, she's got a face like a hoover bag. Or a rotten onion. Her face could stop cancer. And the breeze.

The Slide Of Time...

2007-08-09T12:17:00.002-07:00

When he got on...

When he got off.

When she got on...

When she got off.

A Fresh Take On A Classic Beauty.

2007-08-09T12:13:00.001-07:00

Megan stars in 'A Woman's Work' @ The Kings Head.

On Gee Street, in Kay town.

Minty Turns A Lifetime Of Regrets....

2007-08-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

...into a monetary exercise.

I'm sure i recognise some of them, Spike, is that you with the pride flag round your knob? I do remember his club being for 'Rainbow Warriors'.

"As You've Never Seen Craig Before...."

2007-08-09T12:03:00.000-07:00

Craig releases his inner woman. Turns out though, she's the looker.

Kim Lucas Literally Shed The Pounds In Preperation For The Big Day.

2007-08-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

Rod, Wayne & Minty.

2007-08-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

"Up above the streets and houses, rainbow climbing high,
Everyone can see it smiling over the sky.......

.....Paint the whole world with a rainbow!"

Hello dears

Margarate Pride

2007-08-09T11:53:00.001-07:00

Sugar Daddy Pride.

2007-08-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

Y'Know When Chris Took This Picture....

2007-08-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

He spied a true beauty.....a real Brighton Belle......

A church bell in fact. Thank God he went in for a close up, i'm pleased she came with her own flag, though it somewhat states the obvious don't you think?

I Just Know She's Single.

2007-08-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

And you know she was hailing the ice-cream van. It's the lesbian way. Let me guess, you work in a bank?

All That Is Wrong With Us.

2007-08-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

Their logo is a fucking gun target? Erm, more to the left a bit mate.

The Funny Side Of Aids.

2007-08-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

A Tribute To Madey.

2007-08-09T11:41:00.001-07:00

The White Naomi Campbell.

2007-08-09T11:40:00.001-07:00

Megan At Fire.

2007-08-01T18:40:00.001-07:00

Never let it be said she couldn't find any K.

Well, It's A Look Init?

2007-08-01T17:43:00.001-07:00

Hang on a minute, that's the same guy who wore the orange t-shirt in a previous post. And now you present us with turquoise. Thin ice my friend.

Oh No, That's Not Her.

2007-08-01T17:40:00.000-07:00

Why that's underwear i see before me.

Must just be my bitches Glendora and Ritzy, or as i now call them, Liono & Mumra.

So.......

2007-08-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

.....Do we bitch the shit out of you or do we let you off? You don't appear to have kissed our arses like we thought you might. You may very well have barebacked us, you may very well have done rent (funny though, we weren't talking about you, but, well you just assume really don't you?) but making the t-shirt? That was a brave move miss girl. One that we thought was so funny we almost revealed who we are to you that night.

You'll never know how close you were.....

Seems you've caught the attention of the lovely Miguel.

You'd make a cute couple, though we thought you liked 'em big & buff & rich rich rich!

Oh Troy, you knew as well didn't you.

That's a great pose babes, whatever it takes to tame those eyebrows eh? Good, cos ya face normally looks like a zebra crossing babes!

We decided to have a dig around on your 'oh so revealing' myspace, and as i type this one handed i'm imagining those lips moving very very slowly. Something i'm not sure has ever happened since the dawn of time.

Oh yeah, and erm, Kris love, when did this magazine hit the shelves?

Who ON EARTH is so far up their own arse that they have this picture on their myspace? It's so beyond anything i've ever seen it can't be serious? Congrats to you KDA, you've made Complete Whore question everything she's ever known. We have officially lost the plot, and had to sit down with a cup of Jarrah. Credit where it's due, we love the dj bit, even if it's not your main career (hee hee!). The music is really good and different, the look is pretty, and those lips.....you're an official friend of Naff Naff Queen Queen.

But for £100 we want kissin' next time yeah.

Was She Not In 'Misery'?

2007-08-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, she was the typewriter.

You know, Tasty Tim licked my chest once. I've never been able to forget it, as it's never healed....

I now stink of 'Doritos' everywhere i go.

It's Mean To Laugh......

2007-08-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

.....It's mean and wrong and judgmental. If people wanna take their clothes off they should be able to, they're not hurting anybody and if you don't like it you shouldn't look. Who are we to laugh and cajole at the liberating sight of naked flesh bouncing to the rhythm of a kick drum, celebrating all that is natural and pure?

Except one thing, it looks like this babes:

Welcome to 'Starkers' @ Factory, if you must.

Photo Taken In The Soho Revue Bar VIP Section.

2007-08-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

Didn't that boy on the right used to own it?

That Little Cutie Has A System....

2007-08-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

....She's all smiles babes but don't get on the wrong side of her or she'll fuck you up!

She knows her best side does Steven Artis. I've always found my best side was a lips together, shoulders back, full frontal.

'Black Hawk Down' Gets Her Party On.

2007-08-01T15:47:00.000-07:00

Margaret givin' you 'Dutty Wine', while simultaneously bringing back the bindi.

Undercover.

2007-08-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

Due to her increasing fame and notoriety, Megan's had to resort to more undercover methods to put the moves on the men folk:

Well it's how she met 'The' Oli.

Posh's Powers Know No Bounds....

2007-08-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

She's here, she's particularly queer....

....and even the fashion police are powerless against her! She is Posh Spice and she's coming soon to a mirror near you (for aaaaaall sorts of reasons). I just wish i could see the shoes too......i'm gonna put £100 on them having a heel.

And a tassle.

Loving that he genuinely has more make up on than any of the girls he's pictured with. She's like a cross between that whore-store Santos & Mowen and Juliet Bravo.

In heels.

With tassles on them.

"Ere, you're nicked for being well butters!", or something.

Quick Question:

2007-07-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

Can someone send us a clear high res picture of this t-shirt DJ Kris Di Angelis wore on Friday?

Just leave a link to it as a comment and we'll collect it thanks.

Doesn't Matter What The Setting Is...

2007-07-30T18:50:00.000-07:00

....A woman security guard will always go week at the knees for a man in a fireman's uniform.

Of course it all takes a turn.....

I'd say that was Megan but she's still holding on.

Some Pictures Simply Speak For Themselves...

2007-07-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

(Pssst, is Minty robbin' him, or touching his massive dong? Does she think he's Muktar through those glasses?)

What the fuck is that next to Jodie? I love how she finally found someone else she can take the piss out of, and rightly so.

Is there any chance at all that she wasn't bullied at school, in fact, all of her schools? No. There isn't. Cos i fucking bullied her. Yeah rub your chin love, chin rub chinny rub that you're actually really pretty under there yeah chinny rub chin rub.

Babes...

....what babes....

Just so we're clear, this is a porno-star woman who's turned herself into a man, about to be swallowed whole by a man attempting be alive/a woman/not a vampire.

"I saaaaid, bitch, are, you, talking, to, me?"

We ain't uptown no mo honey.

The Three Stages of Queer Life, as shown by photos from the same couple:

Children Of The Corn.

This is when typically the wings get bought and worn, the dog-tags get bought and worn, and we experiment with hair products. These two then grew up into the next phase:

Turner & Hooch.

This was when they thought they might have an avenue into show business. After a while the clubs get tiring though, and you realize a slower pace of life might be what you're after.

However they tried that and it didn't work out, so after a few surgeries and a coupla bumps they were back.

"Well i've become a respected seamstress while Denis has created the largest private collection thimbles in Europe."

I guess the gay scene really isn't about how young you are. Or how slim you are. Or how stylish. Or having great skin. Anywhere on your body. Or worrying about exactly whatever the hell that is bursting through the stomach of one of them.

Phew, that's a relief.

Ritzy Crackers 'Avin' A Right Old Cottage!

2007-07-30T18:06:00.000-07:00

"Come on then you fuckers! Paaaaarrrp!"

To The Lovely Chris Jepson.

2007-07-30T17:45:00.001-07:00

We just wanted to take a moment to say a few things. We obviously appreciate your work over here at NNQQ HQ, and having seen the picture below, we think you deserve an award. Do Boyz or QX give awards to the best scene photographer? I'm not sure they do, (yes i know i could be wrong before you bitches start), but we think you should get one.

Having looked at hundreds of pictures on your site we've realised that the majority of you're current working life is about documenting the the London gay scene. Your pictures are the sort of thing that usually end up in a book chronicling where were at that time, and it is lovely being able to reminisce. Although all the club photographers are lovely, you're the only one who makes the photo's available for the public on a dedicated site which can't be making you much money. Absolutely everybody on the scene has only good things to say about you, which is rarer than Jeromy Joseph combing his hair, and as we have the ability to tell you this we thought we would.

Oh yeah, and basically anybody that has to take this picture deserves a fucking medal babes:

Does Anybody Else Hate This Queen As Much As Me?

2007-07-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

Here's where i'm gonna let rip.

I won't discuss her DJ ability as i don't have a particularly gifted imagination (we're safe, she won't get that), but i'll say this, she is the rudest, vilest queen i have ever met in my life and she needs to be run out of town (oops, she's probably caught on now). I simply can't be the only one that has a bad opinion of her, i just can't. Her breath alone could rob banks and open safes - And i really mean that - it's the smell of Hell.

Now i know she goes out with a really cool club promoter (Terry Hart - well to some he's really cool, to others he's a fucking nutter) and plays 'electro' (read 'pots & pans'), but i must ask this question:

Having travelled so very very far to get here (obviously packed tightly into someone else's shoe, crouching behind Tigers and hiding from Dragons), why are you such a complete cunt? You don't have the manners to be polite, were you raised in the trees? There isn't a person that knows you (as far as i can see) that has anything positive to say about their experience of meeting you, apart from, perhaps, Terry, and even then he's no fool babes.

You need to fix yourself love, cos your whole life has got a Camel Toe....you could at least pretend to be nice and grateful to the various people that help you along the way (i know you can't remember them ALL now babes but try it with the new ones).

Or you can spend your entire life being mistaken for Gok Wan, due to me telling everyone that's who you are. Oh and i swear to God if you don't do something about your breath the next time you turn up to a club you'll think it's the House of Flying Toothbrushes.

La Bella Jesus Slims Down For DTPM Special Event.

2007-07-30T16:49:00.001-07:00

Oh Jesus, we love your humongous nipples, and that 'zany' look about you. I can't for the life of me remember a single thing you've ever said to me, but you're wonderful to look at in that 'will he hit the wall, or will he not hit the wall?' kind of way.

In fact, i haven't seen you around in ages. Where've you been all this time? Have you heard Luke Hope can't open both his eyes?

She Works HAAAAARRRRRD For The Money Girl.

2007-07-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

Look at that face, that bitch is gunning for you, she is literally thinking "I'll show them CUNTS what it's REALLY ABOUT! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

Or something.

There's My Girl.

2007-07-29T07:44:00.001-07:00

The Shim, alive & kicking. Coming to a mobile library near you.

Margaret.

2007-07-29T07:43:00.001-07:00

Before she shed her skin last. It was a more feminine look last time i grant you.

I hear she can unhinge her jaw and swallow her prey whole, which explains that awful 'washer-woman' voice. A noise is so alarming it's being used in the fight against aids.

PracataaaaAAAAAaaaNNN!

2007-07-29T07:42:00.001-07:00

It’s not often you see this girl about town these days. The Trojan horse that was 'Trade' is sadly these days more like muffin the mule, engraved on kiddie's minds for a lifetime. Still, its mother was snapped out and about partying the night away with Pam St Clements, aka that old tired proprietor, that works the clubs, evading immigration, muttering phrases like "3 For a tenner"...oh and some raasclaat wearing YELLOW, and a black eye! Who dunnit?

What I wanna know is what Laurence has come as......?

My guess is a sideboard. Your guesses can be anything you like.

Answers on a postcard please to Rotten Egg, 13 Vale Royal, London, N7.

Megan Takes A Shit.

2007-07-29T07:41:00.001-07:00

"The Smile On Your Face, Lets Me Know That You Need Me....."

2007-07-29T07:40:00.001-07:00

There's a truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me,
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me, whenever i fall,
You say it best, when you say nothing at all"

And You Say Craig Never Goes To DT......

2007-07-29T07:39:00.001-07:00

There's absolutely no similarity between a pasty faced, crotch-grabbing, substance-abusing, kiddie-lovin' singer from a criminal minded family, and Craig the universally popular owner of Fire.

And so you guys know, that's the real Edna on the left. Oh and i'd totally tap the ass of that on the right, even though that colour doesn't even look good on an orange.

I'm. Gonna. Say. It.

2007-07-29T07:38:00.001-07:00

Megan. Looks. Hot.

There i said it. I'm still going to hell, but maybe they'll let me take my daiquiri in with me.

It's an old picture, but let's not ruin the moment eh? Why can't she look like that more often, and hang out with people like Jodie more often? Though Jodie sweetlove, you do look a little like you got beat down by children's television.

This picture reminds me of Madonna & Britney's duet.

The One On The Left Has Just Really Let Rip..

2007-07-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

...And you can tell she's really pleased about it.

She's thinking "That'll teach them, cunts".

Now I'm Not Sayin' Much .....

2007-07-29T07:34:00.001-07:00

In fact i'm not saying anything at all, i'm just gonna post the pictures and see if you get what i'm thinking.

2004:

And this one too...

2007:

Ok, all i'll say is i guess the food at The Box is really good.

Cliff....

2007-07-29T07:31:00.000-07:00

....My dear, what delicate hands you have.

It really suits your haircut, which i'm sure i remember from 'The Word' circa 1990. Yeah that's right, Hufty had the same do. Her, and any cover of Diva Magazine.

As for this little number below, exactly where were you going with this shot? Were you getting up or going down? Were you high or were you so-lo(w) babes?

Odd to think that not one of the people in this picture is an actual woman isn't it? I hear the real alcoholic in the Cliff & Matt partnership is Cliff, he just uses Matt as an extremely convincing cover.

And So It Was.

2007-07-29T07:30:00.001-07:00

Fiction relaunched last night, what a fucking party that was. The great and the good, with only a few of the tired and emotional, gathered together to see what Friday nights look like now, and it was fucking wicked.

Now i seem to cop a lot of stick when i write things like this, but here it is, i can write whatever the fuck i like. I'm not bound by advertising budgets, phoney loyalties, gay scene politics or any of the other crap that QX and Boyz have to deal with, and if you don't like it you can only imagine where i will direct you.

So, that said, here are some observations on the night. The music, somewhat surprisingly, was good. Now that might sound weird but i wasn't actually expecting the music to be special, i was more excited about going to a really good party. Mark Westhenry was very classy, and Gheghe was cool. Even old 'One-Eye' Hope managed to pull out a decent set (which pains me to write as if i ever thought there was a dj who hadn't a clue about music it's him). It still lacked a punch though, not sure what but there wasn't any kind of sexy filthy sound to go crazy to. The harder room seemed weird and cheap, playing weird music, not electro, just, well dull.

Could that be? Was it him? Did the Ballard strike again? Yes he did folks, people left that room so fast i thought there was a fire.

The best bit? Seeing the t-shirt that DJ Kris 'Blow Job Lips' Di Angelis (correct spelling) had made for the occasion. We never knew you cared babes, naturally we expect it to make every gay magazine there is, as we saw you being photographed with everyone, well, not Kim Lucas, but, well, y'know. We'll try to think of a way to pay you back you whore (media at least)........It prompted a lot of discussion about our little blog, which i thoroughly loved being a part of. "It's you! It's him! It's them!". Yes you're right, it's all of them and then some.

We also loved Olive Oil (Heidilicious) giving out flyers in the club for that silly looking new night 'Toy Box', hoping it wasn't noticed by the staff of Fiction. Oops.

Anyway, there were lots of hotties there and i picked up and earned my cab fare home. When i got home i took loads of g till i fell unconcious, then rolled around in my own shit and the shit of other people until i caught scurvy, or as you might say, i went to Fire. A good time was had by all, and it was the party of the year so far. Look at me writing a club review! Don't worry i'm not making a habit of it.

Mark Bombaclaat.

2007-07-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

There's a whole bunch of people i'm supposed to have a go at here, but Mark, sweetlove. Are you still clean? You're giving your best Renee Zellweger 'simper' smile, but something tells me that the smile is due to Therese handing you a little somthin' somthin'.

What could it be? Her cock? A proper gig? A key to your eventual bungalow in Brighton? Or £50 worth a anything?

We've heard/seen all sorts of things.....but that is one winning smile babes

Sometimes I Wonder....

2007-07-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

...What inspires a drag queen's look? You get all sorts of drags these days, from Jodie Harsh to Jodie Harsh there are drag queens all over the place, like Jodie Harsh, and others like Jodie Harsh (you're LOVING it aren't you babe?!).

Jodie Harsh.

But seriously, is Dusty on the run or someink?

But Is It Art?

2007-07-27T12:17:00.001-07:00

No. I tell you what it is, it's everything you need to justify embryonic testing. Right there, robbing your gin and tonic. And no babes, i couldn't give a fuck if she's a nice person.

Hell On Earth Is.....

2007-07-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

....Being the guy on the right, wanting it to happen.

Have you seen it's hair on the left??

What Not To Put On In A Gay Club.

2007-07-27T12:09:00.001-07:00

Now i'm no misogynist, but the Revue Bar once again pulled out all the stops for their loyal following with this little (well, kind of piggy) PA. They also finally brought their ridiculous drinks prices down to pull the punters in - must be great knowing your product is that great.

They get a lot of coverage for a club that not many people go to, excl. Circus.

My New Posse. You Best Learn It, & Learn It Well.

2007-07-27T11:32:00.001-07:00

"Opulence! You own everything, in, the, roooooooooom!"

The Sugagays release their new single 'You Don't Wanna Fight With Me' this Monday, following the release of their debut platinum-selling album 'She's A Cunt'.

For their Q&A with Just Seventeen they needed to appear more approachable, so a quick turn around and they're ready with a new look.

But woe betide the raasclaats that try to get in the way of the camera you motHERFUCKERRRRRS! Look how they smile as they teef out the dad's wallet, probably spending out his credit cards on that rancid old Pop champagne, which i use to clean my oven.

Mr & Mrs.

2007-07-25T11:23:00.000-07:00

Weren't they once the wannabe Mr & Mrs of clubland? And now they're separated? By who, him in the middle? I hope they're not back together, i rather prefer them single, i always felt i had more of a chance when 'he' was charging for it......

Osama Bin Had-Him.

2007-07-25T11:22:00.001-07:00

She's alive babes, and she's amongst us.

"Alright my bitches! I'm About To Get Ghetto Up In Here And Fuck You Up!"

2007-07-25T11:16:00.001-07:00

MC Kimblee gets crunk.

"Shoot da battyman, in 'im 'ed! Shoot da battyman until 'im dead! Bbllaah!"

Kimblee's brother from another mother, 'MC Una-See':

Craig Cheats Death....

2007-07-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

....Oh finish that one yourselves, the boy looks dead. He is death. Help A London Queen, Aids etc etc.

Megan Caught In The Floods

2007-07-25T11:04:00.001-07:00

Ever popular, she managed to sucker herself to a coupla sailors (well, at least 'Popeye, The Autumn Years' on the right) and get back to safety.

Remarkably, she managed to get home, shit shower and shave, and make it to work on time, present and correct.

Just look at the transformation:

Ahhhh, First Out.

2007-07-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

Isn't this place sweet? It's all olde worldey, harking back to a time when things were different, and we were supposedly less shallow.

You don't see it in the press much these days, and this is why:

And this is why gay men hate lesbians:

Posh, The Early Years.

2007-07-25T10:42:00.001-07:00

In her early nineties Eurovision pop group entry 'Bennetton'.

Get Yo Freak On!

2007-07-25T10:38:00.001-07:00

Her name, is Victoria Wilson James.

Code Name: ManShe, the Wailing Banshee.

Believe it or not, she has actually released a track (she's a singer) called.......

Get Your Freak On.

Here's the video, and you must, and i mean MUST, watch it. It's the funniest thing on this whole fucking blog:

Ladies.....

2007-07-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the new issue of QX, there are some fackin' corkers coming soon!!!

Just bear with us, till then here's a rather blatant plug for the most exciting thing to happen to the gay scene since us -

Fiction!

If you're not there, you're not anywhere. It's going to be one helluva party, thank God there's somewhere cool to go to on the gay scene again, and in the West End.

No offense to the Shady Loo or Soho Review Bar, but you both tend to be a bit 'dairy'. Sorry i mean Dusty. Oh i just mean a bit rubbish.

Hello To You.

2007-07-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

Let's go then shall we. Hello to you Justin. What a lovely picture that is. What does it convey d'ya reckon, that you died a few years ago? That you work SO HARD that you sweat right through (something i think we are all in agreement is an absolute impossibility), or that, nope, can't think of any others. (Surprisingly nice arm though, your own?)

In the beginning of this oh so revealing interview, it is stated that you are particularly refreshing in your enthusiasm for djing, clubs, and the scene in general. Many people have oft' times wondered, just how you've managed to stick around, playing your records of yesteryear, all grumpy of face and grey of skin. Why i remember once taking a poll of who was the oldest man in the club......you get where i'm going with this...i remember someone once saying you had the face of someone who was born during an earthquake.

So let's pull out some choice quotes from old "Put on a Happy Face"'s interview.

Yeah, you couldn't sound more fresh and alive i agree.

Yep, yep yep, that's right, yep yeah (snnnnnnniiiifffff) that's right, true true. Prey tell what is London like now babes? Rubbish? Dry? Full of silly old men playing their very very old records to people they haven't mixed with in decades?

Your 'signature sound'. The same records over and over is no 'signature sound' sweet love. Who the fuck even says that about themselves anyway, my 'signature sound'? Seeing as everywhere you play is having trouble with numbers through the door, your 'signature sound' is the sound of the crowd fleeing out the exit and stampeding towards the rhythm of the street cleaners.

Thank God for Adrian (DSCTC - Not DTPM, you'd be forgiven for getting them confused) though eh? If it wasn't for him being so desperate to copy one particular club promoter to the letter, you might not be in everyone's ears so much. So, for the love of all that is holy and good, Adrian my love, show a little creativity. Your club is sounding dry babes. You'll be picking up Lisa German next! Do you just go round DTPM with a dustpan and brush, sweeeeeepin' up all the old djs? This early noughties sound is done, and it seems the last people to know are you two.

In the late 90's there was Luke Hope, for the early 00's there is....Justin Ballard.

"He doesn't give many interviews". I can't imagine why, the jokes and anecdotes simply flow from within him.

(snnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffFFFFFFF!)

True true.

Isn't He Cute?...

2007-07-20T12:38:00.001-07:00

.....But i can't help thinking it's another way of saying "I have nothing else to offer!".

Every picture in the gay press is an ad opportunity i s'pose.

What i love about the pictures in Boyz are the stupid fucking quotes they print to go along with them. The same person that is paid to think them up also has the right to vote. Think about that people. To think we dare to laugh at Jerry Springer...

What The..

2007-07-20T10:28:00.001-07:00

I suppose going by the ad, at least no one's fat.
Or alive.
With a circulatory system.
Or of natural hair colouring.
In fact, what kind of freaks are they hoping to attract? Is this not the strangest ad for an event you've ever seen? Who's behind such a silly event?